Find a phrase, like a mantra, that helps you love your children even when their behavior is unlovable or annoying. A phrase that helps you want to support your kids even when their behavior makes you want to throw up your hands in disgust! It’s not something that you say out loud – it’s just a private reminder from you to yourself.
Here are some examples:
“Oh, she doesn’t know how, I can help her with that.”
“Clearly he forgot – drat that working memory – let me remind him.”
“I wonder what distracted her – let me get her back on track.”
What’s important about this phrase is that it speaks to you, ties you into your compassion for the challenges your child is facing, and helps you offer re-direction in a way that is respectful and encouraging, rather than punitive and critical.