Quite often, as parents, the biggest improvements we make for our kids come about when we start to think about things differently. When we change our mindset, the results can be extraordinary.
The number one ‘mindset’ shift that I use with parents — the one our clients tell us gets the most transformational results — is an idea that I learned many years ago from a wonderful child psychologist and mentor, Kathleen Platzman, PhD. It’s based on a simple question: “Is it naughty or neurological?”
In our world, kids behavior can be “bad” on the surface. They may be anxious, overwhelmed, impulsive or inattentive – and it comes out looking like anger, spaciness, disorganization, rudeness or disrespect. But nine times out of ten, what’s beneath those behaviors is something really important for us to understand. Our kids are struggling with the challenges of a brain that is neurologically not as developed as we parents think it “should” be for their age.
So when we pause and ask the question — “Is it naughty or neurological?” — we are able to approach our kids from a place of compassion. Not only that, but we can then set more realistic expectations, improve our relationship with our kids, and improve our kid’s longterm ability to be successful. All with a simple mindset shift.