Quick Tip

Find the Fabulous in Complex Kids

I recently said to my husband late one night, while we were getting ready for bed, that I'm really proud of our three kids. Not for what they do, but for who they are, for the people they are growing into.

Don't get me wrong. I'm definitely impressed with what they've each accomplished, despite the odds against them. They've persisted through a wide range of life and school challenges, and are each finding success in their own right.

Yup – they're fabulous, we agreed.

And that's when it hit me. The key to their success, and my sanity, has always been to “find the fabulous.” To constantly be on the lookout for what was fabulous about each of them, instead of focusing on all the things that were making me crazy.

Sure, our kids have challenges. But we cannot let them be defined by them. If anything, we want them to be defined by their strengths, their gifts – by those things that make them feel terrific about themselves. Those strengths will be the sources of their successes. And their successes will breed more success.

So when you're finding yourself a little frustrated – take a moment to remember what is fabulous about your child. And one more thing: don't keep it a secret. More than likely, your child is frustrated, too, and a reminder of the positive will make you both feel … well… pretty fabulous!

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