Love Notes: Marriage Savers That Help Your Kids, Too
Yes, it's true – love notes can save a marriage AND help your kids be successful, too!
These days, we are all so busy that we assume the people closest to us know what we think or feel, and so we neglect to say it out loud. Or maybe we're a bit embarrassed, or don't want to embarrass our kids.
Well, the “love note” is a simple solution that can enhance communication multi-fold, with remarkably little effort.
The Marriage Love Note
Busy couples forget to take the time to talk. To connect. To share their lives. Everything becomes about the “business” of running a family, and before they know it, a couple becomes two ships passing in the night.
Pausing to have simple conversations — about things that are not necessarily important to the daily mechanics of life — can be bonding. It reinforces the underlying friendship in a marriage.
But Love Notes – ahhh, they are magic. They can quietly and profoundly impact the romantic connection in a marriage.
Whether it's little things, like a slinky text in the middle of the day, or a simple note left on top of a dresser that says “I missed you today,” connection happens in small moments.
I'm a personal fan of the love letter — a card left delicately on my husband's pillow before I leave town, or when he's had something major going on, or just when I want him to know that I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Love Notes for Kids
I just love a good greeting card, and I've been known to leave them for my kids in their suitcases when they get to camp, or under their pillows after a hard week. Not too often, of course. But truly, it's a profound connection to know that the person you love is thinking about you when you're not around.
With younger kids, notes can offer quick and effective behavior reinforcement. When my kids were little, I did this in many ways:
- I created construction paper notes for each kid that said things like, “J: Good job this morning,” or “S: Superb Morning, my love,” and were signed by mom and dad. When mornings went well for one child or another, which was NOT every day :-), they'd find a note at their place at the table when they came home from school.
- I had store-bought little “fortune-cookie” notes that said things like “you can do it” and “believe in yourself,” which I would slip into backpacks and lunchboxes. Corny? YES! But they never complained much, and I know now that they secretly liked it.
So yeah – I'm a big fan of the love note, large and small -- as a Marriage Saver and a way Help your Kid. Sometimes, little things -- unspoken but clearly communicated -- mean a lot.