Quick Tip

Make Mistakes Matter Of Fact

matter of fact

Diane and I hear it all the time on our group coaching calls, and with our private clients. Things like, “My son said he'd done his homework, but he hadn't.” Or, “My daughter said she didn't go to her friends, but I know she did.” “He lied to me.” “She looked me in the eye and lied about it.”

Yup. Kids lie. All kids. Sometimes it feels like ADHD kids lie even more.

ADD kids are given to what I like to call “Defensive Denial.” And we parents are partially to blame.

Think about it. We are correcting them all day, from sun-up to sun-down. Little re-directions. It's constant.

They get tired of being wrong all the time. So they start coming up with ways that they can be right. You can't really blame them. Imagine how it must feel to be “wrong” all the time!

So here's the tip. Take the shame, the blame, the annoyance and the embarrassment out of your corrections and redirections. Make them “matter of fact.”

Limit corrections when you can – do you need to correct every bad table manner at every meal? And when you feel the need to correct a behavior, make sure you do it without anything in your voice that makes them feel “bad” or “wrong” for a simple mistake.

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