The key phrase in a Bing Crosby song from the 1940’s (that probably only I remember) was: “accentuate the positive.” It is really great advice that most parent experts reinforce today. Focus on the good things your kids do. I heard a speaker suggest, recently, that the ratio of positive feedback to correction or negative reactions should be 3:1.
Seriously, three times more good things than corrections!? For most of us, by 8 a.m., when our kids get out the door, we’ve made more than 20 “corrective statements.” Just to get them out of the house!!! That means we need to say 60 good things to shift the ratio.
I don’t want to stress you out by challenging you to get to 3:1. But, what can you do today to improve the ratio? Make sure to give praise when it is due: “Thank you for shifting gears and getting downstairs when you did. I know it was difficult for you.”
To help, here’s a list of 25 phrases you can use to praise your child:
Wow – way to go – You’re special – outstanding – excellent – great – well done – remarkable – I knew you could do it – fantastic – I’m proud of you – nice work – looking good – you’re on top of it – beautiful – now you’ve got it – good job – awesome – Super job – phenomenal – you can do it!
Click here to get the full list of 100 phrases – (thanks to speechtherapygames.com for sharing the list.)