As parents, we can’t help but worry when our teens won’t stop procrastinating. It can bring up some deep-rooted fears: “Is my child disrespecting me?” or even “Is my child ever going to be independent?”
This week's guest expert, Michael Delman, offers some key strategies on how to help a teen with ADHD stop procrastinating.
Delman explains that in order to get work done, we need to strike a balance: “We want to have just enough anxiety to keep us moving and engaged, and not so much that we’re too anxious to really get the job done.” Unfortunately, thanks to hyper-focusing on screens and sky-high expectations, its even harder now to stop a teen with ADHD from procrastinating. Delman explains that we need to support our kids, teach them to put the distractions aside, and motivate them without overwhelming them.
But how do you do that without pushing a kid too far?
According to Delman, it takes a conscious shift: instead of focusing on “doing your best,” we should focus on “doing what makes sense.” Be realistic. “If you don’t have enough gas in the car, you can yell at that car all you want, but it’s not going anywhere. You can even push the car, and it will go somewhere, but not as well as if you actually put gas in the car.”
So, we parents must come to these conversations with significant compassion. This is actually really hard for our kids. We ask a lot of them, and their brains are often wired to procrastinate for a wide range of reasons. That doesn't make it okay, but understanding it helps us create systems to address it.
In this interview, Delman provides techniques and tools to help motivate your teens without pushing them overboard. Helping a kid with homework and other responsibilities can be stressful. So listen in, and learn how to start helping your teen with ADHD to stop procrastinating.