Do you ever get so mad at your kids that you just don’t know what to do? Maybe you lose it or retreat. Maybe you yell or cry. Whatever you’re doing, it doesn’t feel good. And there’s one coaching tool that can actually help immediately. When you just don’t know what else to do, don’t get furious, get curious.
I know they say curiosity killed the cat, but look at it this way, she's got nine lives anyway. One life may not be such a sacrifice.
Curiosity is an amazingly helpful coaching tool. When you shift your focus from "what do I think about what she's doing?" to, "I wonder what she's going through?" it's amazing how everything can change. When you're thinking about your kids, your spouse, your colleagues, whomever, and you notice that you're starting to judge their behavior, ask yourself, "what's motivating her? What might be happening to influence that kind of action?"
Whenever you get confused, or you get so mad you don't know what to do or say, or you cannot believe how someone else is acting -- get curious. It works -- almost -- every time.